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 ..smile.. 
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 January 24, 2010 @ 6:36 PM 
guilt timbre.was.fun.as.usual. goodfellas.were.fantastic. and.of.course.with.great.company. michelle.siewyong.kangwoei.and.xueting. hees. went.to.meet.siewyong.and.kangwoei.at.313.for.lunch.after.our.class.yesterday. both.mic.and.me.thought.that.the.movie.was.at.cineleisure. turned.out. it.was.at.marina.square. had.our.lunch. shopped.a.little.and.went.cityhall.to.look.for.xueting.who.met.us.after.her.church. watched.tooth.fairy. had.all.of.us.roaring.with.laughter. its.the.best.comedy.ever. at.least.for.me. it.was.even.better.than.funny.people. went.loitering.around.after.that. walked.to.raffles.city. ate.macdonalds.and.proceeded.to.timbre.at.about.7.30pm. cos.reservations.was.at.8pm. played.cards. ordered.drinks.and.peking.duck.and.something.chicken.splitzza. xueting.left.early. at.about.11pm.plus.or.so. cos.she.had.something.on.today.and.she.has.to.wake.up.early. so.its.down.to.mic.sy.kw.and.me. wooh. goodfellas.was.really.awesome. i.thought.some.of.the.songs.they.covered.were.even.better.than.the.originals. like."sex on fire" and "i gotta feeling". we.left.at.approximately.2am? after.goodfellas.delivered.the.last.song. mic.sy.and.kw.took.the.NR. while.i.chose.to.walk.home. on.my.way.home. there.was.this.stupid.cockroach.that.chased.me.around. arghhh... the.freaking.thing.got.me.paranoid.after.that. so.i.started.brisk.walking. after.crossing.the.road. i.was.still.walking.pretty.fast. that.was.when.this.brown.dog.appeared.from.nowhere. i.caught.its.eye. it.looked.at.me.while.it.was.approaching.me.cautiously. then.suddenly.it.came.and.walked.beside.me. i.was.super.freaked.out. i.had.this.feeling.that.it.wanted.to.follow.me.home. the.dog.kept.following.me.and.i.walked.even.faster. under.normal.cicumstances, (eg.morning.afternoon...just.not.after.12am) i.would.be.feeling.damn.excited. but... in.the.middle.of.the.night. it.kinda.freak.me.out. maybe.i.watched.too.much.supernatural.stuff. but.i.was.really.really.scared. so.i.picked.up.my.speed. and.suddenly.the.dog.just.stopped.walking. i.slowed.down.a.little. and.i.turned.my.head.while.walking. the.dog.just.gave.me.the.very.very.sad.look. maybe.it.sensed.that.i.was.scared.of.it. my.heart.dropped. but.i.had.to.keep.walking. it.was.a.stray.dog.and.i.really.dunnoe.what.to.do. my.mind.was.blank. i.wanted.to.go.back.and.maybe.show.him.that.its.okay.to.follow.me.home. but.what.comes.after.that. i.dunnoe.if.i'm.allowed.to.keep.him. and.i'm.worried.that.it.followed.me.because.he.thought.that.i.have.food.to.offer.him. (i.was.stinky.after.all.the.walking.so.i.was.kinda.worried.he'll.bite.me.) (i.was.feeling.stupid.i.dunnoe.why.) but.after.the.dog.was.out.of.sight. i.picked.up.speed.again.cause.i.was.nearing.the.trees.area.which.was.pretty.dark. but.all.the.time. i.keep.thinking.of.the.dog. and.i.felt.so.damn.guilty.when.i.remembered.the.look.on.his.face. i.should.have.hugged.it.or.something. but.i.didnt.do.anything. i.just.walked.away. i'm.so.shocked.at.myself.for.being.so.unfeeling.at.that.point.in.time. this.bugged.me.till.today. and.i'm.still.feeling.so.freaking.damn.guilty. arghhh... i.see.hope. just.up.ahead. just.a.few.more.steps. and.maybe.this.time. i'd.finally.find.a.home. somewhere.i.feel.safe.and.loved. i'll.approach.her.slowly. show.her.i'm.friendly. she.smiled.at.me. but.when.i.came.closer. she.kinda.panicked. and.starting.walking.away.fast. away.from.me. my.heart.was.heavy. she.doesnt.seem.to.want.me. i.paused.in.my.footsteps. she.turned.her.head.to.look.at.me. i.wished.and.wished.she'll.come.back. give.me.a.hug.or.a.pat. my.hopes.waivered.and.died. when.she.gave.a.sympathetic.look.and.left. it.never.knew.the.dilemma.i.had.in.me. i.wanted.to.bring.it.home.badly. but.in.the.middle.of.the.night. and.i.was.the.only.wandering.human.around.at.that.point.in.time. i.really.didnt.know.what.i.was.supposed.to.do. it.walked.so.close.to.me. as.if.to.sniff.me. i.thought.it.would.bite.if.it.doesnt.find.anything.it.wanted.or.hope.it.would.find. i.was.afraid.it'll.bite.me.and.there.would.be.nobody.to.help.me. cause.if.i.started.bleeding.i'd.probably.drop.into.a.coma. in.the.end.out.of.self.protection. i.had.to.ignore.it. and.i.wasnt.sure.if.it.was.giving.out.friendly.vibes. even.if.i.love.dogs. i.wasnt.really.a.pro.at.reading.the.signs. i'm.really.sorry. i.didnt.do.anything. and.its.tugging.at.my.heart. bugging.me.the.entire.day. i.think.i'll.drop.by.SPCA.someday. i've.never.been.there.before. i'll.make.a.donation.  | 
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